I know I promised myself and more or less you readers that I would not be thinking about dating anyone for a while. And the truth is that this particular idea is going very well for me. I haven't thought about dating anyone or getting close to anyone in that way for the entire semester thus far. I pray that I continue to remain strong. This doesn't mean that I won't think some girls are pretty or that I won't be excited to feel a connection with someone, but my thoughts of dating are being subdued.
However, I feel compelled to write an entry on my thoughts on dating and how things should be done. It's a pretty simple concept that you've all heard before. Just be yourself. I really can't stress how important that is. For many of you, my involvement with girls has really only come from my mouth. Stories I've told, concerns I've had, tough decisions I was debating on making or not making. But I know at least one reader of this blog can attest to the fact that I know how to get a girl (sometimes multiples). In truth, I don't particularly pride myself on that fact and I remember praying that God would take that ability away from me. I know that may seem insane to many of you, yet I really wished I could revert to my clumsy middle school self sometimes who had no idea what to do when a girl approached him. Even though I might not have said the right thing in this sad, pathetic state, I know that everything I said was genuine and that it was me who was saying it. And that is the whole point. If a girl likes me and I like her after all my fumbling, I'll have a pretty good idea that she likes me for me. If I can make a girl feel special about herself (and trust me guys, it's not too hard to complement someone), I won't really know if we have a true connection.
The only downside to being one's self is that sometimes things won't work out the way you want it to. "Man, I really wanted that girl to be my girlfriend, but she just didn't like who I was in the end and we didn't connect." Obviously, rejection hurts but the thing one has to realize is that it's better not to connect in the beginning. It would have been much worse if hypothetical girl and guy were to start dating for a while because hypothetical guy was a really good sweet talker, but then realize they had no connection. The heart break after that would be much harsher. The truth is that the point is not to win the girl. The point is to win THE girl, am i right? You don't need someone who isn't for you. I've honestly been disappointed after I had no connection with a pretty girl and thought "if only she was more interesting or quirky or enjoyed my sense of humor". Those thoughts are dangerous because I liked the "idea of the girl" instead of the girl herself. You can't change who people are or how they feel.
Well you could argue that you're being yourself and "sweet talking girls is just a part of who I am" and that may be true. But it's not hard to do that. Anyone can sweet talk someone. Anyone can fall in love with someone else. Anyone can be swept off their feet. All you need is the right broom. But what if that broom was just you? And no cheap tricks. That's when you know it's real.
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2 comments:
"The truth is that the point is not to win the girl. The point is to win THE girl, am i right?"
haha i understood this part even though without taking it into context it is confusing,
yea def just be yourself, I learned that too, its so easy to trick yourself into not being yourself when youre with HER tho u know?
you always want to impress her, you always want to make the right moves when you like a girl, so you tend to not be yourself. but you don't realize that you are doing it until its too late.
Good points, Albert, that goes for any kind of relationship, even with God, we should just come as we are and rely on Him. And Jesus was Himself too while He was on earth. He didn't sweet talk the people, he laid it out, esp in large crowds that were following Him.
"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."
-Luke 14:26
He wants true followers. Real followers. Not those Pharisees that try to impress people and look good on the outside but are bad on the inside.
But yea, that's kind of a stretch from what you were talking about tho hahaha
http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Meets-Girl-Hello-Courtship/dp/1590521676/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265916427&sr=8-1
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