So where I last off, I kind of realized that I had to live a holy life for God. Not only that, but God was changing me in drastic ways to be able to fulfill that command.
"The strength to follow your commands could never come from me" ~ All I Have Is Christ by Sovereign Grace
I lived my next week, feeling free from sin. In the mean time, I went to CBCM's bible study, REM's bible study, and REM's youth group. I was very involved with church to say the least and this was normal. I had resolved to "make use" of my time and do all these things (almost as an experiment to see if it would burn me out).
But at the end of the week, I felt like I hadn't served God at all. I had resolved to live a holy life but was instead merely living a moral one. I did the things that I felt were right in order to keep myself away from guilt and shame. I had gone to each of these church events this week, not seeking to make God's kingdom known, encourage the saints, or even worship him in general. I was going through the motions, going mainly to hang out.
Another change was in order. I needed to be purposeful for the kingdom of God. In fact, I often realized that when I was not purposeful, I often stumbled myself or others. If I'm not aware that the message on Sunday that's being preached is the word of God and I'm just...not thinking anything; it's much easier to doze off. If my sinful flesh would passively do evil and wrong, then I needed to fight actively with the power of the Spirit. I had to live a purposeful life for God.
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