My Summer (Part 1)

After school had let out, I fell deep into sin. For the next week, I lived in sexual immorality. It's not that I didn't think it was wrong but that I had perhaps surmised that this was one hurdle I would jump over later in life. That as of right now, I would never conquer it and could therefore put it off for later. Is that how I look at sin in general?

I even went to my church retreat not even thinking about this. Not even going in thinking, "I'm going to fix this here" or "God's going to fix this here". Not that that is the right mentality, but that just shows me how unconcerned I was about my sin. The first sermon ended and I was about to head to my small group, more concerned about meeting new people than what had been preached. But before I even left my seat, I was told that I had been switched out. I thank God that I was. My new small group leader's first sentence was "We have to beat sexual immorality. Let's band together to kill this thing."

I was floored and it really brought to light the sin that I was facing. It was the first installment encountering a love in my church that wasn't afraid to be intrusive, wasn't afraid to ask hard questions that seemed awkward, and wasn't prepared to assume anything just because you didn't share that you were struggling with something. But after that retreat, I'd be lying if I said I was changed. Even after being shown the truth and having a genuine brother reach out to me, my hard heart remained. I needed God himself to change me.

The turning point was my church's first men's meeting. It was a real men's meeting. Asaph and I were the only college guys. Once again, the talk was on sexual immorality. My pastor said "This isn't normal. Why do we think that this is normal?" I realized that almost every prayer group I've been in has had myself or another brother struggling with this sin. If I'm struggling with it and that guy is struggling with it and maybe even my small group leader is struggling with it...then I'll start to think it's normal. I know it's wrong but this must be something God addresses with me much later on.

It's not normal. After that meeting, God did a work in me. I've lost count of the number of weeks since I last fell. I wish I could tell other people how I overcame it but the truth is that I didn't. Christ overcame that and changed me with his love. I did nothing.